Processing

This morning I woke up with a few tears but was glad that I slept well. I think I was so emotionally drained from yesterday that feeling somewhat refreshed was something to be grateful for. I met my mom for lunch and she was extra upbeat and I could tell that was for my benefit. It was very sweet. My sweet dog was extra excited to see me and freaked out when I walked in the door and that made my heart happy for the first time in two days. It really is amazing how much I love that dog. Anyway, we had lunch and discussed finances and a plan to begin next month's IUI's. And can I just say...I have a wonderful mother. 

At first she had a hard time with this decision and it really affected our relationship. But in the last few months or so, she has really come around and been exactly what I need. I'm so glad I have her support, it would be so much harder without it. Anyway, we came up with a plan and we're going to make it work for next month! Yay! I'm ready to move forward.

I'm proud of myself. I could sit and wallow in this forever, or I can remember that I'm strong and pick myself up and realize that this baby is going to come when it damn well wants to and it's out of my control. Yes, the perfect timing of a May baby is not an option now, but the timing of my baby will be perfect because I will be pregnant. It doesn't matter when it happens, it just matters that it happens. 

Yesterday was a definitive day in my life and it's one that I will remember for the rest of my life. But there are going to be many more of those this year and I'm trying to embrace that it's a process and have faith that everything is going to work out in the end.

It's still indeed a process. I am feeling better but I'm not quite ready to go in the baby's room yet. I think that will take some time. For now I'm keeping the door closed. Last night I spent with my college bestie Jeana, today I spent with my mom and tomorrow I'm spending the day with two of my work besties Gwen and Ashley and we will be at the pool for some quality time. I don't think they want me alone at home for too long. Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with two of my running friends and then Monday I'm taking the day for me. I'm so glad I have one extra day to process before going back to work. I want it to be a day doing things that I love...for me. I think of my favorite two things in this world to do and they are: reading and cooking. So I'm picking two new recipes from Pinterest to make and spending the day reading and sleeping. Hopefully by Monday I will be able to face work with a smile. It's definitely a process...

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 2, 2013 at 12:59 PM

    It makes me happy to read this post. I know that this entire process is emotionally draining, to say the least, but I'm thankful that you are going to continue with the process. Kudos to you for leaning on your friends and family. And btw, I'm proud of you too!!

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