Goal Setting
Over the past two years, I have gained A LOT of weight. It started slowly, when I started slacking on my nutrition during my last marathon training season. I started gaining weight and running got harder. The harder it got, the more discouraged I felt, and I ultimately just stopped trying because every time that I did and rediscovered how hard it had gotten, I felt like a failure.
Also during that time, I was toying with the idea of having a child on my own. It was quite an emotional battle for myself because it was such a big decision. This created stress for me and I kept gaining weight. Once I had made the decision to YES, move forward with having a baby, the next battle was fighting for the support from my family. This was pretty hard on me as many of them didn't support what I wanted. I was passionate and emotional and kept gaining and gaining. I felt very alone.
Once it was time to start trying, I was always nervous to exercise during the two week wait period of finding out if I was pregnant. I know this probably sounds silly, but when I wanted it so badly, there was a certain fragility tied to it in my mind. And then started the emotional roller coaster of finding out I was NOT pregnant, I'm devastated, I'm out all that money, and I'm feeling hopeless and broken. All those feelings made me gain even more. I went through that negative emotional cycle five times before I finally got pregnant.
By the beginning of my pregnancy, from the start of my downfall, I had gained 55 pounds. And being pregnant, I wasn't getting any smaller. The good news is that I was careful not to gain too much in my pregnancy. I'm almost 9 months along and have only gained about 23 lbs. But still, add that to the previous 55, and I see a scary number staring back at me on the scale.
So being this new version of myself, I've discovered a lot about who I am now. First of all, I look totally different this heavy. I've never been a skinny girl, but I no longer feel "pretty" and I pretty much stopped being social and feel much more isolated now. I never dress up cute anymore because I don't see the point, I'll still look fat. So yeah, I've pretty much stopped trying, altogether. And I spend a lot of my time alone.
The good news: there's a fighter inside of me, and I'm very passionate about my child and what kind of life I want us to have. The gist: I have some pretty strong values regarding how to raise children. I feel that children should be brought up on proper foods, and parents should take the time to implement active lifestyles that allow them to play and get their energy out. I struggled a lot as a kid with nutrition because it was never properly introduced to me, and I was rarely played with or was active with family, so as a result, I lived a very obese childhood. This held me back a lot. I never had a date to the dance, I never got the boyfriends when everyone else had them, and it really messed with my emotional development. It's not the way it should have been. While I've let go of any resentment I might have once had, I will be approaching the lifestyle of my children differently. I want us to be ACTIVE. On the go, living life, playing often, laughing all the time, and living life to the fullest!!
Clearly, I am not in physical shape to do that right now, so I have some serious work to do. The good news, Adam won't be mobile for about another year or so, so I have some time to get on it! I want to be able to keep up with him as he starts running around the house, I don't want to be a fat and lazy mom, I want to be an EXAMPLE of how to live. I hope in becoming that example for him, he won't be afraid to go after his dreams and he will have the confidence to make great choices for a fit and healthy life!
SO! I need a plan. He will be born some time in the next 4 weeks (holy crap!) and then I will need some recovery time. I think the key here is having a plan and sticking to it. I love planning and following a schedule, and I know the girl that can do amazing things is deep down in there somewhere, so I'm excited to start finding myself again. I know I can do this, I've just got to stay strong.
So here's what's in my head as of now:
August:
Adam is born. Will be in zombie survival mode. Try to make better choices and get through this first month.
September:
Recovery from possible surgery/delivery. Breastfeeding will help the uterus contract faster, therefore losing weight faster, plus it burns an extra 500 calories a day. Continue to make better choices, but focus on taking care of Adam and recovering and healing the body.
October:
Begin a light exercise program, consisting of walking and healthy eating and counting calories. Adam can join!
November:
21 Day Fix Program. I researched this program and really like the approach. It's very simple and the exercise DVDs are only 30 minutes. I'm looking for something simple at this stage because Adam will still be very little and I won't have a ton of time for extra exercise. See if I can get some friends to join me on this challenge.
December and January:
Train for the Hot Chocolate 15K race! See if I can get some friends to join me on this challenge.
February:
21 Day Fix Program. If I'm going to pay for this program, I want to get my money's worth so I'm doing it again!
March:
Train for the Big D Half Marathon! See if I can get a friend to train with me.
April:
Gym Focus: Work out a schedule of gym workouts and fitness classes. Explore new things!
May:
Zumba Fitness Program
June:
Join Lifetime Fitness and learn how to play tennis via their classes, find a racquetball partner, enjoy all of the amenities, Take fitness classes, enjoy the equipment, take Adam swimming, enroll him in kids camp, and enjoy the new the new you this summer!!!
July: We may have a walker on our hands, are you ready??? BE ACTIVE AND BE HAPPY!!!
So there is where I am now. I will get more specific later but I like having an outline planned out for the future. Luckily, I have a mother who is very supportive of my weight loss and will offer to babysit for an hour while I go workout. A healthy mama is a better mama and I owe it to myself and my son to be the best mama I can be.
It's going to be VERY hard, I'm really heavy now so I'm going to die in the conditioning process. But I can do it. The next step in my planning is developing a reward system for when things get boring and too routine. I do think, though that changing up my program every month will help with motivation and help keep things fresh!
Cheers to strategically planning a journey to health!
Also during that time, I was toying with the idea of having a child on my own. It was quite an emotional battle for myself because it was such a big decision. This created stress for me and I kept gaining weight. Once I had made the decision to YES, move forward with having a baby, the next battle was fighting for the support from my family. This was pretty hard on me as many of them didn't support what I wanted. I was passionate and emotional and kept gaining and gaining. I felt very alone.
Once it was time to start trying, I was always nervous to exercise during the two week wait period of finding out if I was pregnant. I know this probably sounds silly, but when I wanted it so badly, there was a certain fragility tied to it in my mind. And then started the emotional roller coaster of finding out I was NOT pregnant, I'm devastated, I'm out all that money, and I'm feeling hopeless and broken. All those feelings made me gain even more. I went through that negative emotional cycle five times before I finally got pregnant.
By the beginning of my pregnancy, from the start of my downfall, I had gained 55 pounds. And being pregnant, I wasn't getting any smaller. The good news is that I was careful not to gain too much in my pregnancy. I'm almost 9 months along and have only gained about 23 lbs. But still, add that to the previous 55, and I see a scary number staring back at me on the scale.
So being this new version of myself, I've discovered a lot about who I am now. First of all, I look totally different this heavy. I've never been a skinny girl, but I no longer feel "pretty" and I pretty much stopped being social and feel much more isolated now. I never dress up cute anymore because I don't see the point, I'll still look fat. So yeah, I've pretty much stopped trying, altogether. And I spend a lot of my time alone.
The good news: there's a fighter inside of me, and I'm very passionate about my child and what kind of life I want us to have. The gist: I have some pretty strong values regarding how to raise children. I feel that children should be brought up on proper foods, and parents should take the time to implement active lifestyles that allow them to play and get their energy out. I struggled a lot as a kid with nutrition because it was never properly introduced to me, and I was rarely played with or was active with family, so as a result, I lived a very obese childhood. This held me back a lot. I never had a date to the dance, I never got the boyfriends when everyone else had them, and it really messed with my emotional development. It's not the way it should have been. While I've let go of any resentment I might have once had, I will be approaching the lifestyle of my children differently. I want us to be ACTIVE. On the go, living life, playing often, laughing all the time, and living life to the fullest!!
Clearly, I am not in physical shape to do that right now, so I have some serious work to do. The good news, Adam won't be mobile for about another year or so, so I have some time to get on it! I want to be able to keep up with him as he starts running around the house, I don't want to be a fat and lazy mom, I want to be an EXAMPLE of how to live. I hope in becoming that example for him, he won't be afraid to go after his dreams and he will have the confidence to make great choices for a fit and healthy life!
SO! I need a plan. He will be born some time in the next 4 weeks (holy crap!) and then I will need some recovery time. I think the key here is having a plan and sticking to it. I love planning and following a schedule, and I know the girl that can do amazing things is deep down in there somewhere, so I'm excited to start finding myself again. I know I can do this, I've just got to stay strong.
So here's what's in my head as of now:
August:
Adam is born. Will be in zombie survival mode. Try to make better choices and get through this first month.
September:
Recovery from possible surgery/delivery. Breastfeeding will help the uterus contract faster, therefore losing weight faster, plus it burns an extra 500 calories a day. Continue to make better choices, but focus on taking care of Adam and recovering and healing the body.
October:
Begin a light exercise program, consisting of walking and healthy eating and counting calories. Adam can join!
November:
21 Day Fix Program. I researched this program and really like the approach. It's very simple and the exercise DVDs are only 30 minutes. I'm looking for something simple at this stage because Adam will still be very little and I won't have a ton of time for extra exercise. See if I can get some friends to join me on this challenge.
December and January:
Train for the Hot Chocolate 15K race! See if I can get some friends to join me on this challenge.
February:
21 Day Fix Program. If I'm going to pay for this program, I want to get my money's worth so I'm doing it again!
March:
Train for the Big D Half Marathon! See if I can get a friend to train with me.
April:
Gym Focus: Work out a schedule of gym workouts and fitness classes. Explore new things!
May:
Zumba Fitness Program
June:
Join Lifetime Fitness and learn how to play tennis via their classes, find a racquetball partner, enjoy all of the amenities, Take fitness classes, enjoy the equipment, take Adam swimming, enroll him in kids camp, and enjoy the new the new you this summer!!!
July: We may have a walker on our hands, are you ready??? BE ACTIVE AND BE HAPPY!!!
So there is where I am now. I will get more specific later but I like having an outline planned out for the future. Luckily, I have a mother who is very supportive of my weight loss and will offer to babysit for an hour while I go workout. A healthy mama is a better mama and I owe it to myself and my son to be the best mama I can be.
It's going to be VERY hard, I'm really heavy now so I'm going to die in the conditioning process. But I can do it. The next step in my planning is developing a reward system for when things get boring and too routine. I do think, though that changing up my program every month will help with motivation and help keep things fresh!
Cheers to strategically planning a journey to health!
So proud of you for having a PLAN!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the 21 Day Fix challenge? And the Zumba challenge? I would say I *might* be able to do the 15K, but that's 9 miles, and well, I haven't ran a single step in almost 2 years. I can't imagine I'll be up to 9 miles by January.