A Very Hard Week

Well, this week was terrible. Let's just say it's been a not so good month. Great in the sense of my baby, and that I'm now feeling him daily, which I absolutely LOVE. Terrible in the sense that work is becoming almost unbearable. Kids have been getting physical with me, I get upset, there have been issues at work and I have been crying A LOT. I get that I'm hormonal, but it's becoming a good day if I DON'T make it through the day crying. I'm getting concerned about my stress level because as we all know, when I'm upset, my body flares up from my Fibro. It's been REALLY bad. The other day I just wanted to stay home in the quiet and just not move, because moving hurts so much these days.

I've been looking into a career change for awhile, but I'm not sure it's realistic at this point. I don't want to make any rash decisions with Adam on the way, I just get so sad that I have to be so unhappy at work. And it shouldn't be this hard, and people shouldn't cry daily at work. I think I made a mistake not transferring schools when I had the option to.

I have six more weeks of school until summer. When it's summer time, I won't be roughed up by kids or have to deal with the serious behavior issues, and I can just stay home and focus on preparing for Adam. Then when he's born, I'll get another 6 weeks (wish it was more) at home with him and I think the long break will be good for me. I don't think I've ever needed one this much. I've grown to live for nights and weekends when I can be home with my dog and feel my baby kicking. I simply cannot wait until he's here.

On a lighter note, I'm totally in love with my baby doctor, he's amazing. He's the one that worked with me to get pregnant and now that I am, he's the one taking care of us. I saw him yesterday for my appointment and he gave me a wink, and told me how he's delighted to see me. Then when I left, he said he likes seeing me, it makes him happy. Ah the butterflies!

And speaking of hotness, I'm starting to not be a fan of this fat me. Now I'm not talking about the baby, I'm talking about the heavy girl I was when I first got pregnant. Now that baby is growing, I'm gaining weight and am huge! I'm already planning my post partum kick ass plan to get myself back in shape. I feel like I've lost myself but I'm still the girl that has completed 3 full marathons and 20 half marathons. I know I'm in there, somewhere! I'm actually looking forward to working towards that goal again. Not necessarily a marathon, but just getting really healthy and feeling good again. I'm very ready. Maybe when I feel better, I can start the dating game again. I've been avoiding it right now, just feels weird to be dating and pregnant. Plus I have two people to think about now, and I've kind of only had jerk experiences, so I'm kind of wary of the whole thing. Right now I'm happy and I don't want to jeopardize that. Oh and how's this for feeling fat: This morning when I went to the bathroom, I broke the toilet seat in half. Awesome.

So yeah, that's where things stand right now. I have an amazing life, amazing friends, and a perfect little pumpkin on the way. I need to toughen up and not let work get to me. A lot of the problems going on there are not my problem, and I only have 6 more weeks until I'm away from it for 16 whole weeks. I've gotta get through it, I can do this. I can do this...

Comments

  1. Christina TApril 27, 2014 at 12:13 AM

    I know this really great girl who will totally babysit when you are ready to get back into the dating game. And, you know that you have an incredible group of friends that will be there with you, cheering you on and helping you get the weight off after Adam is here, and you've been cleared to work out again.

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