A Defeating Moment

Tonight I had a very defeating moment. So far during this pregnancy, I've felt mostly joy, some anxiety, but never an inability to provide, until tonight. I've been dreading the crib. Mostly because it's an important basic necessity, a place for my child to sleep, and if I can't do THAT, then I've failed. In my mind, I thought I am smart enough to put it together. But when it came time to do it, I couldn't figure it out. It was given to me by a friend and she just took apart certain parts so we could transport it. Now it is in pieces, but not like the instructions pieces. So it threw me off. I tried everything, got nowhere. And then I just couldn't hold back the tears. I felt like I couldn't provide for my baby and I sobbed uncontrollably for about 30 minutes. I just hate asking for help. I usually am self-sufficient and I know people really don't want to come do labor for you. So anyway, it was just a hard moment. One of many I'm sure to have as a single mom. And I think the sobbing uncontrollably part could be my ridiculous hormonal pregnancy moment. Everyone has one, right?

A lot of my girlfriends responded to my plea for help so it looks like I am going to get help. I am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. When you are down, like REALLY down, it really does show you how much you are loved. I am blessed.

I am going to go to bed before I experience any more psycho moments. Goodnight...

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